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Calvin and Hobbes II:Lost at Sea Transcript
Scene 1: The First Day of Summer (Calvin sits at his desk, looking bored. Miss Wormwood sits at her desk.) Miss Wormwood: Now, class, before I let you go for the summer, I'd like to go over a small assignment for the season. (Calvin's eye twitches) Miss Wormwood: When I see you again, I want to see a two page report about how your summer was. It doesn't have to be too descriptive, I just want to make sure you keep your writing over the... (The bell rings. Calvin has disappeared. The other students pack their things and run out of the classroom.) Miss Wormwood: See you in August, class. (Got A Hold of Me by Santiago X The Natural plays. Susie walks onto the bus and sees Calvin sitting in his seat, writing in a small notebook. Susie sits next to Calvin.) Susie: Hey, Calvin. (Calvin looks up at her.) Calvin: Ah, yes, of course. Much greetings. Susie: What are you doing? Calvin: Vey important and top secret information that will for sure change humanity as we know it. Susie: It says, "List of Things Not to Do This Summer". Calvin: To the untrained eye, I can see why you would make that misconception. Susie: Whatever, Calvin. I think I actually might be going to Denver this summer. Calvin: Intriguing. I was there just last week. Susie: No you weren't. Calvin: I was, indeed. Hobbes, MTM and I were doing a very important study of the giant, mutant, tadpole things that live in the Denver sewers. Well... MTM and I were studying them, Hobbes was hiding through most of it. Susie: You were in class last week. Calvin: You keep forgetting I can teleport. Susie: How can I be so naive? Calvin: Still trying to figure that out. Susie: So, what do you plan on doing this summer, Calvin? Calvin: Probably a lot of nothing. With any luck, no one will interrupt it. Susie: What's your report going to be like, then? Calvin: Probably very boring. Don't expect too much. Susie: Well, I'm going to meet my favorite actor at the Denver Film Festival. Calvin: Ah, and who's that? Susie: Dennis Quaid. Calvin: Sounds like a glorious old time. Tell him hello, and I'll try and get the nanobots out of his bathtub by Thursday. Scene 18: The Studio Voice: CUT! CUT! That was horrible! (Camera shows Les Grossman.) Tom Cruise: Les Grossman? Grossman: Yeah. I'm here to talk to Jackson Kelley! Kelley: I'm here. Grossman: Great. You're fired. Kelley: WHAT? Grossman: Yeah. I revealed you in Scene 11 as a demented psychopath, and you got a lot of hate. McKay! Usher him out the door. McKay: I don't think I can... Grossman: Do it, or you're fired too! (The door swings open and an Agent comes in.) Kelley: Oh, no. Cruise: You know that guy? Kelley: He's my agent. I hate him. Cruise: Oh. Agent: Yello? Can I join in on the pity party now? Grossman: Who are you? Agent: I'm Jackson Kelley's agent. And his contract stated six Calvin and Hobbes movies! Grossman: Oh, yeah? I just fired him! So there you go! (Grossman, the Agent and McKay are shown arguing.) Kelley: Alright. It's a wrap anyway. See you Tom. Grossman: Hey! Where are you going? (The others leave, leaving Cruise alone on set. He grabs his phone. He then selects Ludacris' Get Back. He starts dancing as Dr. Brainstorm.) Directed by Adam McKay Produced by Clint Eastwood and Christopher Nolan Written by Jackson Kelley Executive Producer: Mikael Hed Director of Photography: John Cohen Production Designer: Patrick Merrill Costume Designer: Brodie Merrill Edited by Ian Reynolds Music by John Debney Music Supervisor: Dave Jordan Casting by Nick Davis Jackson Kelley Ben Cline Bill Hader Elizabeth Banks Ryan Stiles Griffin Gluck Ty Burrell Dan Aykroyd Tom Cruise Taylor Lautner Millie Bobby Brown '' ''Maya Rudolph with Bryan Cranston and Nicholas Hoult as Earl An Adam McKay film Calvin and Hobbes II: Lost at Sea